Dirty Thirties HANDLED
On March 9, 2017 by hottomatopinupacademy8“Stella, I’m 37. What a completely lame age to be.” I said out loud to my golden retriever this morning as I slurped shrimp-flavored ramen for breakfast at 11:15am.
I stayed up really late last night migrating images from my personal Instagram with the business name to a business Instagram with the business name per the instruction of my cousin slash best friend slash marketing consultant, Rachel Hyde. She thinks my personal life is too tied up in the business and it’s difficult for first-time clients to navigate the social media platforms. She’s right.
So, to completely defy all reason, I have decided to use this particular platform to … tell a completely hypothetical story about something that could happen to anyone (it’s totally about me.)
A stand-out, sure fire way to tell that you’re plummeting into the depths of mid-life crisis is looking in the mirror to find that the head of hair that frames your face is grey. NOT the natural kind that you get from living a pure and decent life but a grey that started out grey but was covered up with brown followed by a more striking black, stripped down to a ginger color, tortured into an ashish blond, covered in royal purple, faded to a yellowish lavender, bleached of all remaining dignity and strength, tapped, foiled and woven into a frenzy, coaxed back into a periwinkle color and finally DYED grey for the low, low price of roughly $1,300. THAT is when you re-evaluate your beauty standards. And your life.
***GLAMSHOP***
On September 1, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Choose from TWO different workshop packages with Team Hot Tomato!
Photographers, Andi Roberts and Jocelyn Adelsperger
Concierge, Jessica Kufel
Makeup Artists, Lauren Elaine and Tonya Winebrenner
Hairstylists, Veronica Fields and Chelsea Holtz
Mistress of Ceremony- Jesse Hyde
Armpits and Swoon
On July 1, 2016 by pinkcrush1112Today we have a post from our Hot Tomato Photographer, Andi. She discusses armpit smell and how you photograph the unseen things that create that sexy feeling. I love the smell of my gal’s arm pits. Sadly, they almost never have an odor that hasn’t been carefully placed there during her daily routine. But sometimes,
The BIKINI Project
On June 11, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8The Hot Tomato crew has been in a full tilt bikini discussion all Spring! We send selfies of our current stock and share links to cute ones on sale. It’s become a little bit of a habit with some…(Jocelyn, I’m looking at you!) You see, once you have been running with this saucy crop of
Card-Carrying GDHT’s
On May 2, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Chances are pretty good that you first heard about Hot Tomato from a friend… ya know, that cute, sassy, rebel type. See, it’s this great part of the human experience to immediately feel compelled to tell your besties that they simply MUST do the awesome thing you just did! Get a fabulous massage? Have
A Different View
On April 22, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer Some women hate their bodies. I dearly hope you are not one of these gals, but if you are, or if you know someone struggling with body image, please read this short post. Do you know that when
Dirty Thirties HANDLED
On March 7, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8HANDLE those dirty thirties with a sassy group of bomb diggity Hot Tomato ladies that have already subscribed to this life policy! Get a prescription for shopping trips, some Parlor rehabilitation and vodka shots as needed! Get ready for a little “Woooo giiiirl” and a MOJO injection! Top it all off with one big dose of you can’t HANDLE this HOTNESS and Blamo! You are a card-carrying GDHT!!!!
CAN it, Sister!
On March 6, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8No clothes? We have plenty. Too scared? We’ll talk through it. (see also: Liquor) Too expensive? We offer payment plans. Feeling bad about your shape? We will show you how to rock it!
The Pattern of You
On March 6, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Telling the body’s story with images almost always evokes powerful emotion. It connects, it guides and it always belongs. It’s the pattern of you.
Let’s Get Real, a Valentine
On February 12, 2016 by hottomatopinupacademy8Let’s get real for a moment, shall we? A real effing Valentine moment. A moment that will likely be interrupted by a small, slimy child, a text from your boss outlining a {mandatory} opportunity for you to get some extra hours on your only scheduled day off or the unmistakable yack/splat sound of dog vomit hitting the floor.
I’m just going to go ahead and assume that you clicked on this post because you relate. Or because you know me personally. Or that it was quite by accident. However it happened, just understand that I’m about to get real honest.
Sometimes life is a complete shit show. Also, February is a HORRIBLE month to focus on love. You’re sick for the billionth time, freezing your ass off, fatter than you’ve ever been and perpetually in another financial month of NOT recovering from Christmas. “What’s that ?” asks the Universe. “Your life needs to be a bit more challenging? Allow me to pop your teenage daughter’s car in a creek and give your dog worms. Also, as a special bonus, I’ll let all the stink bugs in the world know that your home is a perfect place to get out of the cold.”
Then you see an ad. It will say something like this:
